Introduction

SPRING 2004 POEMS

Introduction: THE SUMMER HEAT CAN BE SO SWEET

It’s my shortest seasonal collection of poems for several reasons. First being the end of spring came and to be honest I felt let down by Renate’s psychic readings. She had me so pumped on my supposed spirit guide Tim and his predictions that when my sight didn't return by June 22nd the 1st day of summer I crashed and burned with her false hope and Tran’s false promises. I thought I was opened up spiritually and was taken on a year ride by someone I trusted. Then got shut down by this psycho psychic garbage she fed me. The sickest irony is in the last reading she did for me she tried turning it around on me and suddenly it was my bad attitude that prevented any progress in my heeling. That’s when I took on the bad attitude cursing at god for his false prophecies as I wept in to a martini on my first birthday I didn't want to spend with any friends. My 30th birthday on July 17th I had to come back to Vancouver . If I wanted to save my government funding I had risked since October 2003 when my heeling journey began out of the province. Starting with my Alberta tour then to Ottawa where I was supposed to see a miracle. So I guess I broke out of the depression when I heard my dad’s voice strong and he stood me up and gave me the first hug he's been able to give me in years. He has carried me on his back emotionally and mentally for 7 years straight.
I wrote my first poem in this collection based on a reoccurring dream my dad had for the last 7 years. It’s of us walking through the forest and what better of a way to elaborate on his dreams but poetically. So on the 22 nd of August his 67th birthday we knocked on his door with a gelato ice cream cake singing happy birthday. I wrote him a card that went something like this:

Dad
just some tools for
that day I come knocking
upon your door
love Jade and Martina

Martina and I bought him a pair of Clark wallabies. Then he read Bewilderment the first poem I wrote in the summer. He later whispered in the car the shoes are nice but that poem was the best gift you could ever give me. The next poem is one of my favorite poems I’ve written named July. I wanted to include one commentary to this book and this being the one everyone would miss the hidden depth in its meaning I feel obliged to explain myself. Its based on a simple but profound philosophical short note I left Tran the last day I went to say bye.

If you told me you would give me my sight back
If I could tell you where god is?
I would of told you
I don't need my sight if you tell me where god isn't
Thanks for the dream of vision
Or the vision of a dream
So if god is everywhere in the earth’s creation of perfection then it’s logical that every species that has inhabited this planet has a soul. What no one knows is if we are re incarnated. If we have human souls and animals have animal souls and insects have their own heaven and all species are separated by their soul classification. I used to have these flying dreams that I would be floating above the ground and people would look up and point at me flying. I began to question am I a boy dreaming that I’m a butterfly, or am I a butterfly dreaming that I’m a boy? I found it to be way to of an intriguing and interesting question to let rest in my mind without putting my creative input on it. So I wrote several incarnations throughout the poem July. It’s written like a sporadic dream with a romantic twist with each incarnation. The strangest one to grasp probably is the butterflies relationship with me as the salt in the sea questioning does the sea have a soul? Anyways tons of none or believable imagery in this poem so put it in your own perspective and enjoy its insight in to possibilities unknown to humans. Puppets is about my battle with this liberal government playing me like a puppet. I started getting in to writing songs and finished this summer edition with a simple non metaphoric love poem named What If?

Jade Bell